Big Boys' Toys

ever heard of "Big Boys' Toys"? i guess it must have been a lady who invented this terminology, due to jealousy, haha. well, i think ladies have their "old ladies' toys" too, haha. use your imagination as wildly as possible, though i don't have an exact definition here, but i'm trying to lead you to somewhere...

ok, seriously, i think that this proves that there is some truth when people say that there is a child in every man's heart. come to think of it, hell yeah, it's damn true. i'm sure that all of us have certain dreams at certain stages of our lives. the dreams change as we turn older, but the fact that we will always have a dream will not change. for an example, i have always wanted to visit Japan since i was a kid. by then, i wanted to go to Japan to just grab myself a set of Nitendo. yeah, what is that compared to Play Station and Wii, but those were the days. however, my dream has changed. in my case, i still want to go to Japan, not for the electronic stuffs anymore, but for Ryoko Hirosue...

ahem. what i'm trying to say here is that, for a normal person with a healthy set of mind (effects from studying Law subjects, as nowadays, quite a lot of people think "differently" as normal people do), there will always be a dream or an aim at any stages of their lives. that is what keeps them going, like fuel for car, water for camel, money for ATM... (i hope that by bringing up money, i help you realize the importance of dreams to us as human beings.) without dream, i think you won't even bother if tomorrow is coming.

you can cut the crap with responsibilities. at the end of the day, after you are done with all the so-called responsibilities, you still have to deal with yourself, thinking of what lays ahead of you. that is the time when your dreams come creeping back to you. but most of the times, even if you still want to achieve your dream, maybe your age, or your physical limit, or you responsibilities (again) will not allow you to do so anymore. on the other hand, if you are lucky enough, you would still be able to achieve your dream. but by that time, if that is a something that you have dreamt of, then it would probably has become, as what is mentioned at the beginning of this article, Big Boys' Toys.

thus, there is no shame in having Big Boys' Toys. men have given up their own precious dreams during their youth, at the peak of their manhood, for the sake of r-e-s-p-o-n-s-i-b-i-l-i-t-i-e-s. so, what is wrong with having Big Boys' Toys when they get older, having done with their responsibilities and giving themselves a break? it is just like having a glass of Teh-Ice after a long, hard day of work, or finding a last piece of tissue in your pocket after you realize there are no toilet rolls in the toilet you're shitting in...



as a conclusion, i don't want to wait until i grow old, till i can't even bend my back anymore to own a Big Boys' Toy...


please, mum, when am i getting one of these? i can't face tomorrow anymore without it... i feel like a mosquito (female) without blood to suck all this while. my soul has turned empty and bikini chicks don't give me the sensational feeling anymore... now you realize how much damage it has done to me. please call XX 3396 8515 if there is still any sympathy left in you. it is available 24/7. thank you.

OUTPUT never equals INPUT

in my previous post, i complained that what you get is not what you worked for...i think it is very true. today, i reviewed this again from a Mathematical point of view, or rather, from an Engineer's point of view, since i did graduated as an Engineer, no point wasting my engineering's knowledge... ... ... ... okok, just let me brag about something, alright? next week is exam week, i'm feeling quite tensed here =.=

from an Engineer's point of view, in a practical case, the output will never equal to the input, simply because there is nothing in this world that works with a 100% efficiency. hence, that's it, hehe.

actually, that is just the entree for this post. today, from an incident, i discovered a reason behind the imperfect equation of input=output, that is, what you give is not the exact amount of what the other end receives. thus, no matter how much you give, you cannot demand for same amount or similar amount in return. a very typical example would be a family who runs a family business. most of the times, the parents would not have much time to spend on their children. they provide every material thing that they can afford: the best schools, the best tuition, the best cars, the latest trendy handphones, and etc. but, in the end, can they expect the children to be very obedient? obviously not.

i'm pretty sure that most of this type of parents don't get that, what they give might not be what their children want, and what they give might be not what their children need also. now, from the Contract Law's point of view, a contract exists only when one party does or provides something favorable to another party and the other party pays or do something in return. if what the parents give to their children is not what they want, then how could they expect anything in return? even the Barter System doesn't work like that, right?

sigh, i just want to stress that, apart from providing so many things which you think someone else would like, it is far more better to be at place when you are needed. what is the use for you to be able to give the whole world to me, when you can't be by my side when i needed you most? yes, all the things would make me lead a better and more comfortable life, but i can do without that, and i won't feel "terribly" unhappy without it either. on the other hand, when i need someone to be by my side, to give me support, and all that i have is myself only, what you did, everything that you did before would then mean a lot less, maybe they would even mean nothing anymore... ...

do you believe if i say that i'm practising my writing skills for my law exam next week? i have to write on average 10 full pages in about 3 hours' time. sigh, this is a bad time for exam. no mood to study at all, and it's open book test... ... studying is tough... ...

confused...

i think, i've never been more confused in my life before...

it used to be that, what you get is what you worked for. but now, is this still true? is it still true that you can get what you worked for? i'm tired...very tired. i don't know how to fit into this society anymore. it's not easy to be someone unique, someone different, as we all know, but contrary, it's not easy to be someone normal too.

since a few years ago, i've given up all my big dreams, just trying to be normal, trying to lead a nobody's life. well, normal as in, study, graduate, find job, get gf, marry, have kids, then grow old and die. i don't ask for big house, big car, big bike, big boobs..., or any luxurious things. just get it over with, get it done, get me to the end of my life... don't torture me anymore.

"with great responsibilities comes great sacrifices..." no, i don't want great sacrifices, and i don't want great responsibilites either, just...argh, fastforward... don't test my patience anymore... am i just whinning? does everyone has to go through something similar as me? is this the only way to live a life?

people tend to advice, don't try to compare all the time. am i comparing? gosh, i don't know. i'm so confused...

enough whinning... tomorrow is on its way, without any delay. better give myself a few slaps on the face and move on... and guess what, i just realized, you don't need to have great responsibilites to have great sacrifices. i think it should be "with a kind heart comes great sacrifices". nowadays, only those who try to be on the good side will have to do great sacrifices. agree?

time for a laugh...

"putting a condom on is like wearing a raincoat in a shower...what's the point???"

~~~THIS IS NOT AN ADVICE! TRY IT AT YOUR OWN RISK!~~~

不爽，not comfortable...

今天心情很不好。其实，最近，心情都不怎么好。对很多事情不满，却又无能为力。那种心有余而力不足的感觉真恶心，弄得我晚上迟迟都没有睡意。偏偏在这个时候，又让我接触到这首歌 => 江美琪之“亲爱的你怎么不在我身边”。底下的不是歌词，只是我在网上下的那首歌背后有个女孩在读的一些东西，给我造成了很大的打击......


听着小美轻落的嗓音，唱着这首“亲爱的你怎么不在我身边”，心里觉得空空的...

亲爱的，你怎么不在我身边；

亲爱的，我们就这样分开了，永远分开了？

亲爱的，你确实不在我身边了；

亲爱的，你身边已经多了一个她代替我来照顾你；

亲爱的，原谅我以前的任性；

亲爱的，我们曾经真的爱过；

亲爱的，不要怀疑我对你的爱，虽然有些残缺不全；

亲爱的，你再也不会陪我整天聊天、嘘寒问暖了；

亲爱的，我再也不会叫你笑通宵、多吃东西、自己照顾自己了；

亲爱的，很怀念和你在一起的那段开心的日子啊；

亲爱的，你对我真的没有话说了？我们之间真的就用沉默来取代了？

亲爱的，你不爱我了，我后悔以前没有好好的待你；

亲爱的，虽说要忘记你，可是假如真的爱过，忘记很难做到；

亲爱的，你还记得吗，记得你曾经说过的话吗？永远都不会和我说分手；

亲爱的，我再也不能对你撒娇、要你做这做那了；

亲爱的，你离开我了，这个事实，我说过要忘记的，我不想再去回忆；因为你回忆一次，心就会痛一次；我原本破碎不堪的心，已经难以愈合了；

亲爱的，如果有来生，上天再给我一次机会，我一定会好好的爱你、紧紧的抱住你不放，不要你离开我；

亲爱的，如果可以，我们不要再计较以前谁对谁错，只要记住曾经真心爱过对方就好，而我能做的到吗？

亲爱的，直到你和她在一起后，我说随便，我不在乎；其实，这全都是假的，我能不在乎吗？我真的很在乎，因为你说过爱我，不会再爱别人；

亲爱的，我对你失望，虽然说你也有权利选择爱你的人和你爱的人，但是我不喜欢被骗；如果你爱别人，请告诉我，不要说你不会再爱了，因为假话让我伤心；

亲爱的，对不起，我没有办法原谅你；如果可以，真的不愿意再想起你；可是偏偏、偏偏脑子里全是你，想着以前，想着你说的话，想着你现在身边有了她；

亲爱的，我选择逃避这些事实，我承任自己懦弱、害怕接受事实；

亲爱的，你让我感受被爱，同样也感受心碎；

亲爱的，要我忘了你，做不到；也许，只有时间能够帮助我；可是亲爱的，过去这么久了，我依然没有办法忘记你；

亲爱的，我想好多、好多，其实我们在一起真的是错误的；我们不在一个地方，如果说要好好去爱你，也很难做到，我们之间有距离；

亲爱的，一个转身的距离让你爱上了别人，这只能怪我不好；如果我对你好，你的爱还会转移吗？

亲爱的，希望你好好爱一次，不会再受伤；

亲爱的，我不想让自己难过下去，把你拖进黑名单；但是看到以前的聊天记录，有甜甜的回忆在里面，有争吵、有幸福、有离合，一切的一切；

亲爱的，还是会习惯去查找你的QQ；明明自己不想看到的，偏偏每每都想去看看；

亲爱的，我的心一次次的破碎，我找不到坚强的理由；

亲爱的，请不要对我这么的残忍，我的心已经承受不了，再也承受不了一次又一次的打击；

亲爱的，这是我最后一个为你发的帖子；以前记得我在你帖子里面回了一段很长的话；

亲爱的，第一次我发了这么多、这么长的帖子；不知道为什么，一想到你，就有无数的话想对你说；但，最后还是选择发帖；因为除了这样，我不知道怎样发泄自己心里的情绪；

亲爱的，最后一次为你难过、最后一次为你哭、最后一次为你心碎；

亲爱的，记住我说的，如果有来生，我一定会好好爱你；希望我们一转身，就可以看到对方，而不是朝相反的方向离去；

亲爱的，最后一次对你说，我爱你... ...



唉...
虽然没有经历过一模一样的，可是，就会给人家那种感触、那种和她一样的感触...
真的是<<同是天涯沦落人，相逢何必曾相识>>啊...
命苦的人世界上到处都有，我不是一个人在命苦... ...